Hey Freshmen, Here Are Your Must-Have School Supplies


As a young buck, nothing was quite as exciting as the start of a new school year. Getting your homeroom assignment, class schedule, and lock for your shiny locker all helped foster a positive attitude towards school. The greatest perks of all were those colorful new notebooks and pens that would have the kids at recess asking you, “Where can I score some of those?”

But now you’re starting college and have matured way past those mind games. No longer are you distracted by the whimsical patterns and colors dancing along the school supplies aisle (well, most of the time). You can’t be fooled into believing that learning is fun just because you write in invisible ink. No, you are way beyond that childishness.

Entering your freshman year of college, you think you have the whole school supplies list down. A calculator, books, blue and black ink pens (teachers called dibs on red ink), a mechanical pencil, and some notebooks are all that’s needed to get through the school year, right? Wrong. You are completely wrong.

Sure, those are the things listed on the syllabus, but all returning college students know that there’s an entirely different list of supplies that are way more important than anything recommended by teachers.

Here’s what upperclassmen Yakkers think are the things you REALLY need to have on hand this fall.

Crying isn’t just for babies

We’ve all used the excuse, “It’s the beginning of the school year so I just don’t know how the teacher tests yet,” to explain to mom and dad why that 65% we received isn’t as bad as it seems. This is the most full-proof justification we’ve tried so far and it makes parents far less upset than if you just told them, “My buddies challenged me to a beer pong tournament and I couldn’t back down.” Getting bad grades is a part of the college experience.

It’s going to happen. It’s going to do suck. But then you’re going to do better. Just don’t be like that fabled freshman who cried about the first test (understandable) without anything to wipe her eyes on (rookie mistake)… she ended up having to pay to get her lab partner’s shirt dry cleaned due to some non-waterproof mascara. Maybe it’s Maybelline?


Computers > Notebooks

Since we are no longer living in the early 2000’s, where laptops were reserved for business executives and celebrities, and we were bound till death to our Lisa Frank notebooks, we now get to make the daily decision of how we want to take our class notes. Do we pull a TBT and physically write out those Intro to World Religions notes, or do we make like the witch from Snow White and whip out an apple? The answer is obvious. Laziness will always prevail no matter how much we feel guilt tripped by our Fitbit, so we whip out that Apple.


“I’m Pre-Med” (Read: “I Just Finished Season 1 Of Grey’s Anatomy”)

In college you will have those days and nights where the thought of human contact triggers your gag reflex. There is only one cure for this type of illness. Yes, that’s right, hours and hours of commercial free television! Netflix becomes your significant other in college. You let it sleep in your bed, you take it everywhere you go (including class), and if anyone tries to tell you to “Give it some space” you cut them as a friend… negative attitudes aren’t welcome in this new and blossoming relationship. So go ahead, pay that $7.99 a month, and get ready to realize that anyone who’s ever said “money doesn’t buy happiness” has never had a Netflix account.


“I’ll Trade You My Gushers For Your Snackpack”

As a Freshman in college your first mistake will be scheduling classes back to back and not accounting for the fact that your Freshman Seminar is a 20 minute light jog to your British Literature class. The second mistake will be not bringing food to these classes. The Freshman 15 is a real things folks, we tried to say it would never happen to us, but it did, just ask our scale.

To hold off this impending gain we recommend snacking in class; this way, by the time that you hit lunch, you aren’t eating five plates of carbs and counting tomato sauce as a vegetable. Pro tip: Be discreet with these snacks, teachers will confiscate them (School of Rock style) if you’re obvious. 


The Quickest Route To Friendship

Freshman year is scary, and this is 85% due to the fact that you have to find an entirely new squad to become a part of… the other 15% is related, ironically, to the freshman fifteen. There is no better way to build up some new friendships than a piece of gum. Think of it as the college kid version of that firm handshake you do before an interview.

Trading a piece of gum for four years of companionship and someone to accompany you on all your stupid adventures, is better than any deal Amazon has ever offered you. So shove seven packs of Trident into your bookbag before you head to class, and prepare for people to be asking you, “Wanna sit together at lunch?”