If you’re anything like the Yak, you probably spent your summer working as an intern, silently hoping that this three-month experience would make up for those two C’s you made freshman year. Hey, Calc was hard! You presumably went into this internship thinking that by the time August rolled around you’d be able to walk out of your office doors with an overwhelming amount of new knowledge, a better idea of what you wanted to do with your life after graduation, and the promise of a job waiting for you upon your arrival into the real world.
Whether or not your internship ended up being this picture perfect, your mom and dad were right when they promised that you’d learn a few valuable lessons this summer. With that being said, here are a couple of the things you probably all discovered after being an intern.
It’s All About Language
Upon arriving at your internship this summer you quickly learned that if you wanted to be taken seriously you had to forget all the “cool” slang you use at college (i.e any word on Urban Dictionary) and start talking like a British diplomat, accent optional. Instead of saying “so” you said “ergo”, instead of “legendary” you said “supreme”, basically you were so classy that your boss forgot that you were a 21-year-old college student and kept hinting at a job with “exceptional benefits” on the horizon. You’ll hit him up when you say peace out to senior year.
Venturing out of your cubicle is almost as dangerous as siding with Meek Mill over Drake. Don’t do it. This summer you realized that your cubicle is the grownup equivalent to “base” in hide and go seek. If you left this safe space you risked either being bombarded with new projects or having to look through 476 pictures of your boss’ family trip to Disneyland. One way or the other, exploring the office meant losing bigger than Leo at The Oscars.
Bathroom or Breakroom
If you did end up finding a way to make like Tom Cruise and mission impossible yourself from your cubicle to the bathroom, you probably discovered that nirvana exists in the form of a 2x4 stall. The office bathroom was your ultimate refuge these past three months. It was an escape, a place where time stood still and the only thing that mattered was you and your shattered iPhone.
Of course, you had those days where time slipped away and before you even realized it the office had emptied out faster than your bank account after a Saturday night. No worries, though, because by the time you bid farewell to your intern pals you had already successfully mastered how to “use” the bathroom without raising suspicion. And you thought you wouldn’t learn anything this summer!
Wait, So You’re Telling Me This Isn’t Dunder Mifflin?
We all entered into this summer’s internship thinking that the work environment was going to be comparable, if not identical, to what’s portrayed on The Office. However, it turns out that The Office is about as good a representation of having a career as The Real World is of, well, the real world. Next summer you now know to watch something that’ll actually prove useful (think: Man vs. Wild or The Walking Dead). Survival is key, folks.
“I Majored In Art History”
Turns out that underwater basket weaving class wasn’t as useful as your teacher promised you that it would be. No seriously, everything that college promised to prepare you for was a lie. Sure, at school you learned some of the basics like don’t drink (too much) on a Tuesday night if you have a presentation at 8 A.M on a Wednesday, but this summer taught you that taking on the real world is much more comparable to that time you were seven and opted out of T-ball so you could go straight to fast pitch softball. In the end, you’re going to end up getting hit in the face with reality.
Clueless Isn’t Just A Movie Title
This internship was a learning experience, and what you learned was that everyone around you is still in the learning process (Dare us to say ‘learn’ one more time?) It turns out that those men and women walking around the office in suits are almost as lost as you (phew!), they just know how to hide it better. Sure, these people know how to balance a checkbook and correctly pronounce the names of remote Italian islands but come on, they’ve had 20 more years of practice. You’ll get there one day.